How long does grief last?

Losing someone we love whether they died, or a relationship ended can be some of the most difficult pain our heart can go through.

There are many factors that determine the depth and the length of our grief. Some of these factors include the depth of the relationship, the closure before the ending, our own coping skills, and the strength of our present day relationships.

Grief comes in waves, and the waves that come lessen in intensity and height over time. The length might be 30 years or it might be two months. Unfortunately there’s no calculator that will determine how long these waves will last.

The reverberation of these waves may last a lifetime, but they definitely won’t always hurt as intensely.

Below I’ve written three tips to moving the grief process forward:

1. Understand the five stages of grief. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These five stages of grief will all come in waves at different times. It’s also important to know and understand that these stages of grief are not linear. They don’t always happen one by one and sometimes you will go back and repeat a stage. Feeling all five of these stages are necessary and part of moving forward in grief.

2. Feel it in order to heal it. The way through grief is through. What that means is that we can go underneath it, around it, or over it. The depth and intensity of grief will stay with us, and come out in other ways until we embrace the struggle and feel the feelings associated with our grief.

3. Seek support. Since grief is centered around the loss of relationship, but then it only makes sense that part of the process of healing grief is reaching out for the support within relationships. Some relationships that are helpful, our friends, family members, a good grief, therapist, members of our spiritual community, or as supportive members at work.

I want to end with saying, most importantly, be kind to yourself during this time. Grief is not a time to overachieve or try to accomplish. Grief is the time to rest and lean on others. Your productivity during this time is to rest and to feel.

You are doing enough. You are enough. You can survive this grief.

If you have any more questions about the grief, or grief therapy please reach out via the Metta Holistic Therapy contact page or email me directly at – if you’re in crisis or an emergency please call 911.

Published by reneeminx

Somatic EMDR Holistic Female Therapist

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